Many people focus on the divorce process itself, but in reality, the financial settlement is often the most complex and costly part. It’s important to remember that financial discussions are separate from the divorce application, and many lawyers don’t include these costs in their initial quotes.
In an ideal world, couples should agree on finances before filing for divorce. Unfortunately, that’s not the reality. Instead, financial negotiations are the stage that:
- Takes the most time
- Causes the most disputes
- Can become extremely expensive
Some lawyers justify high fees by claiming they can secure a better settlement. But is a marginally better deal worth years of delays, stress, and family tension? In my personal experience, the financial battle took over a decade to repair relationships within the family.
Common Mistakes in Financial Settlements
Divorcees understandably worry about their financial security and getting their fair share, but common mistakes often make the process harder:
- Delaying financial negotiations until the final divorce order is in place
- Unrealistic expectations of what they are entitled to
- Focussing on minor assets instead of the bigger picture (e.g., arguing over furniture instead of pensions)
- Assuming their lifestyle will remain the same post-divorce
- Forgetting that one marital home must now fund two separate households
Understanding these issues early can minimise costs and help you move forward smoothly.
Take a Strategic Approach
The best way to approach financial discussions is strategically. The first question you should ask yourself is: What do I actually want?
Being clear and realistic from the start can prevent unnecessary delays. For example, many clients insist they want to keep the family home, only to realise months later that it carries too many memories, leading to wasted time and weakened negotiation power.
Additionally, be mindful of asset values—a dining table purchased for £10,000 five years ago may only be worth £500 today. A spouse may counter by offering to let you keep it in exchange for £5,000, which is an unfavourable deal.
Understand the Marital Pot
Before formally starting divorce proceedings, take stock of all assets and debts, including:
- House(s) and property ownership details
- Pensions and savings
- Employment income
- Bank accounts and investments
- Loans, credit cards, and other debts
This doesn’t take long, but failing to do so can lead to confusion and unfair settlements. Surprisingly, many individuals don’t even know their spouse’s income or pension provisions.
Also, check property ownership—if you’re not on the mortgage, you may not be a legal owner. Consider placing a home rights order to protect yourself.
Ignore ‘Advice’ from Friends & the Internet
Friends and online sources may tell you what you want to hear—“You’ll get 80% of everything”—but that’s rarely the case. In most UK divorces, courts aim for a 50/50 split, regardless of who earned the money.
What matters is realism, not wishful thinking.
Don’t Let the Process Control the Outcome
Many assume that completing a Form E (a financial disclosure document) is the key to unlocking hidden assets. While it provides a snapshot of finances, it rarely reveals surprises that dramatically change settlements. Lawyers may encourage it to justify fees, but if you already know your finances, this step may add little value.
Focus on substance over form—you know better than anyone what matters in your settlement.
Be Realistic & Plan for the Future
Divorce almost always results in both parties being financially worse off—at least initially. Two separate households are more expensive than one. However, this is often temporary.
Most individuals find a new relationship shortly after divorce, either during or within a few years post-settlement. This may mean cohabiting again, reducing financial strain. Understanding that financial hardship is often short-term can help in making practical decisions.
Do You Need Professional Advice?
Yes—but choose wisely. Many cases drag on for years simply because no settlement offers have been exchanged. Others suffer from unrealistic expectations that lawyers fail to challenge.
Look for a professional who:
- Offers fixed-fee services (not just an hourly rate)
- Provides clear, pragmatic advice
- Challenges unrealistic expectations
- Helps you focus on the bigger picture, not minor disputes
If your lawyer isn’t giving you clarity, you might be paying for unnecessary delays.
Key Takeaways
- Start early—understand your finances before filing for divorce
- Think big—avoid costly fights over small assets
- Be realistic—divorce means financial adjustments for both sides
- Know what you want—and be prepared to adapt
- Get solid legal advice—but ensure it’s strategic, not drawn-out
- Plan for the future—life continues, and financial struggles won’t last forever
Finally, protect yourself for the future. Divorce is becoming more common, and many people go through it more than once.
Need expert, fixed-fee family law advice?
Contact www.fair-result.co.uk today for pragmatic, award-winning guidance.
Call: 07 500 933 818 or 0333 577 7009
